This was originally posted as a note on Facebook, on December 7, 2010.
Time to move my writing all to one place, huh?
I keep waking up hoping a new day will bring a change. Today isn't that day.
Trying not to be too disappointed, just trudging through. This is usually my favorite time of year, when we prepare to celebrate the coming of Christ: God made flesh, Love incarnate. Right now I just don't know . . . I wish I could muster up some excitement for my kids.
Trying to keep a joyful attitude is WORK right now. This stinks because I know that old adage "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is proving to be painfully true, and the result is kids with stinky attitudes. My attitude sets the tone for my home--but I really just want to be away from everyone, and they just want to provoke each other.
This has been really hard on my girl. She's usually a very jolly kid, but she's been getting mad at me and really sassy. I try to tell her that mommy is just having a sad time right now, and she tries to sympathize as only a 4 year old can, but I can tell that she's frustrated. Naughty behavior= instant attention from mom. Hooray.
My big boy is still not talking and his preferred method of communication these days is the scream--how charming! Honestly I don't have the energy--or the willpower--to enforce house rules (but just how in the world do you enforce "No screaming" on a not-quite-two-year-old who can but won't talk?).
I know God has a purpose for allowing pain as well as joy. I know He is in control here. I'm just so tired of being in this mire. I hope I can learn something from all this..
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